Do Your Best and Forget the Rest

I’m not going to lie, this is way more challenging than I ever anticipated. I was confident that I could manage my workload, educate my children, and keep up with housework AND be afforded some free time to pursue other passions that I normally don’t have time for. I was wrong.

For most of us, life has never been more of a balancing act.

The quarantine has created a unique set of circumstances for everyone. I know that I’m better off than most, so I have no right to complain. As a full-time healthcare worker, my wife still has to report to work. I’m very grateful that I have someone to trade-off with when she gets home - I’m empathetic to single parents, those with large families and others that are caring for elderly parents. I’m sure your loved ones are grateful for the extra attention and time that they get to spend with you.

My children are 6 and 9 - independent in some respects, but not in others. They usually have between 1-2 hours worth of assigned schoolwork. My six year old is becoming more confident as a reader, but he needs assistance navigating the plethora of apps and websites that are being used for learning at home. Little kids also have a tendency to be loud and constantly making noise - this is in stark contrast to my own personality, as I prefer a quiet environment (why did I ever go into the teaching profession?) and solitude. We don’t allow our children to watch or play any games that promote violence, but there is something ingrained in the male DNA that causes us to seek out physical contact. There are days where I feel more like a boxing referee than a father.

Starting to come to terms with their physicality. Contemplating buying protective equipment and letting them "have at it".

They also struggle with thermoregulation - if we’ve been in a Zoom meeting together, there is a good chance that you’ve seen my boys parading around half-naked in the background. Warm weather has been a godsend, as my boys do enjoy the outdoors. However, we live in a condo complex and sending them to the lane to ride their bikes and scooters requires supervision. Perhaps I’m being overprotective, but distracted children and distracted drivers don’t mix well. At the very least, this provides me with an opportunity to get some fresh air and take a mental break from work. When the weather has been cold or wet, shamefully, I’ve allowed my boys way too much time on YouTube and playing Minecraft.

The weather often dictates how our day unfolds

I feel like I’ve done more cooking, cleaning, and laundry in the past month than I did in the past year, but the house is in shambles. Our dining room table has become “the work-station”, so we’ve been eating in the living room. I was thinking about getting a dog or some other animal that would eat the food when it hits the floor, but that would just be one more thing that poops that I have to care for.

A current trend during the quarantine is to get your kids a new pet. Despite how cute they are, I won't have any part in it.

Typically, I would wait until the boys were asleep before I focused on my own personal wellness - either going for a run or lifting weights in the basement. It hasn’t been happening. My nine-year old son has regressed into a shell of his former self. He has suddenly become fearful of everything - the coronavirus, bugs, skin imperfections, cancer, dungeons in Minecraft … you name it. His inability to sleep has left all of us exhausted, miserable, and edgy.

Rather than working out during 'personal time', make it a family affair. Lead by example and get your kids active.

I also shudder every time I log into my banking site to pay bills. I’m very grateful to be employed, but my bank account continues to shrink as the stock market plummets. Owning a house was becoming an attainable goal, but is a distant-thought at this moment in time. The extra living space would be a welcomed change.

Extreme measures = extreme consequences. The quarantine has led to the collapse of financial markets and significant government debt.

The bottom line is that the quarantine is taking a toll on the wellness of everyone. Our capacity is limited. We are all doing our best and we have to recognize this in others. While we have a set of personal standards that we hold ourselves accountable to, we have to accept that this is unlikely to be attainable as we adapt to a new environment. We need to give ourselves permission to be ‘ok’ with not being at our absolute best and be content that we are doing our relative best. Eventually we will transition from surviving to thriving, but until then we all need to stay positive, remember that our wellness is paramount, and “do our best and forget the rest”.

Wise words from wise pups.